Originally published on Three Bright Stars.

I go to the gym at least twice, and usually three times a week now. It’s enough of a habit that I feel okay telling you about it. I’m not about to quit any time soon, even though some of my gym co-members are odd and frightening. I have to tell you about one in particular.

To the casual eye, she is young, thin and blond. She has an unmatched dedication to the gym, and is always there when you arrive, and still there when you peel yourself out of the leg press and crawl off to the showers. She hangs on to the machines with cruel strength, works them in strange positions, and glistens from head to foot. Her concentration is magnificent. She must be, you expect, a specimen of physical perfection.

In time, you become accustomed to her presence. She only takes the elliptical machine marked “C.” She is always there, reliable. You call her Elliptical-C. You immerse yourself in your own workout, switch your iPod from Joss Whedon’s latest musical hit to Black Sabbath’s Sabotage, feel a surge of energy, and move past the 20 minute mark on your own elliptical machine.

Only when you achieve a certain level of physical exertion and mental focus do you begin to glimpse the truth of Elliptical-C. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice an anomaly. There is a strange convergence of details in your mind. They form up gently, but clearly, in your focused mental state.

Elliptical-C is not human. She is the Elliptical-C creature. She uses the elliptical C machine to send communications to her fellow creatures, who are trans-dimensional space creatures of immense age, intelligence, power, and malevolence.

Originally Published on Dutch Blitz

I was a “big girl” growing up.

I was not comfortable in this body of mine. Yes, it was my body, but I felt as though it did not belong to me. I struggled with the fact that friends of mine could eat McDonald’s, and candy, and wear skinny acid-washed jeans. I would hang with them and curse my chubby thighs and flabby arms. I would shake my fist and silently scream, “It’s not FAIR!”

I resigned myself to the fact that I was destined to be BIG. My friends had flat stomachs and no inner thigh to speak of and it was so foreign to me. My thighs rubbed together as I walked and would get red from the friction.

There were a couple of stints where I got skinny. Because I did not eat. I remember when I was in grade eleven, I ran into an old friend from out of town. She praised me with those words I longed to hear. “You are so SKINNY!” And I told her (innocently) that I had not eaten in forty-eight hours.

That would be TWO DAYS.

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Originally posted at Morning Cup of Joe.

Sure, it’s tough
to commit to regular exercise. There are just so many other things that
require our undivided attention. Or maybe it’s just easier to feel
sorry for ourselves and find something better to do.

“I don’t have time”

“My elbow/knee/back hurts”

“It’s just too hard”

“I didn’t sleep well”

“(enter your favorite exer-scuse here)”

I admit, there are days that I consider skipping my workout. But I
have a li’l trick for getting past the “poor, busy me” syndrome - I
think about some of the people I met who had every possible reason to forget about training, yet they soldiered on…

– One guy was in a wheelchair, his shriveled legs resembled
overcooked linguine. Since squatting and running were out of the
picture, he competed in bench press contests (quite successfully, I
should add). He’d train just as hard as any able-bodied person would -
probably even harder. I remember watching him with awe as he did rep
after rep of pull ups with his wheelchair strapped to him.

Did he have a valid excuse to not exercise?

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Originally posted on Former Fat Guy Blog.

Today’s weight loss tips are about exercise and how
to best use your time in the gym to get more work done, stimulate more
muscle and burn more fat. They say that building muscle while burning
fat can’t be done, and that you should focus on one or the other, never
both. That said, what if you just wanted to burn fat as efficiently as
possible, end workout boredom make your time in the gym as quick as
possible. These three weight loss tips are the very thing to take you
in that direction.

Weight Loss Tips

1 Focus your training on the largest muscle groups:
The largest muscle groups of the body are the legs, back and chest. By
working the largest muscle groups, primarily, you end up putting a
larger demand on your body for energy and nutrition. Then a larger
demand on your body for repair of that muscle tissue. You burn fat
twice, first when you’re actually training and secondly when your body
is busy rebuilding the muscles.

Arms (tricep and bicep) are smaller muscles, and where training
certainly makes them look good and allows you to work harder on pushing
and pulling movements, they don’t burn as much fat as the larger
muscles.

As my trainer says, even if you don’t specifically train arms, they
still get worked when you’re doing chest and back movements.

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Originally published on Cranky Fitness

Since this is Cranky Fitness, what are the chances you’re going to be reading some incredible new weight loss method guaranteeing permanent results?

Yep, you guessed it: pretty much zero! However, it’s time again for Crabby to climb up on her soap box again and offer…

Advice about Self Improvement that You Already Know.

Today’s question: What’s the Secret to maintaining weight loss (or any other self-improvement achievement) for the long haul?

The answer: Accountability.

Yawn. There’s nothing sexy about Accountability.

Making a commitment to Accountability is sort of like getting married to Mr. Rogers, or Eleanor Roosevelt, or Walter Cronkite. Accountability is not Hot and Hip and Hilarious. You’re not going to have the rollicking good times you’d have going out to party with Blissful Ignorance, I’ll Start Tomorrow, Hell–Why Not, or “LA-La-La I Can’t Hear You.” But you’re also not going to wake up in some scuzzy stranger’s seedy apartment with your underwear on your head, reeking of White Russians and Kentucky Fried Chicken Nuggets and hating yourself. Accountability will cut you off and call you a cab before you self-destruct entirely.

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