On Motherhood, as an immigrant
{Originally Published on Classy Chaos}
Naturally as a mother, my ultimate goal is to raise happy, confident and loving children. However as an immigrant in this country, I desire more.
This desire. This hungry for more is a common thread between many immigrant experiences. Library shelves are full of fascinating written words ranging from Japanese-Americans assimilating into the vineyards of California to the Mexican migrant workers surviving droughts in Texas to the Jewish people building an empire with their hands in the early years of NYC. The mothers in these carefully crafted histories did more for their children then just basic mothering.
They came to America for a better life. Leaving behind all the hardships in their homelands for a chance to conquer all the opportunities in a free world. They witnessed living in countries where success was measured by the entree served for dinner instead of by experience and education. Immigrant mothers grew hungry for more, taking nothing for granted.
There’s a valid reason why I can not really identify with any references made to Saturday morning cartoons from the 80’s. I remember the scent of my mother’s hair as she knelt down before me and repeated in a heavy Polish accent, “I did not come to this country for you to sit and watch TV.” Minutes in front of the TV innocently robbed us from essential backyard free play, from extravagant vacations to Machu Picchu, from endless summer fun at the community pool and from rhythmic gymnastics competitions. TV and video games deferred us from my mother’s desire for a better life. “We are different. You are different.” She repeated my entire life each time I begged to go to the mall or asked to watch The Wonder Years, yearning to become more American like my peers.
Richard Rodriguez’s acclaimed autobiography Hunger for Memory set a nationwide debate some years ago by addressing, “If Richard Rodriguez could succeed given his obstacles, why can’t everyone else?”
His success came from his desire for more. His hunger. That motivated him. I do believe that those factors are a result from his immigrant experience as he witnessed the hardships of the community first hand. Of course you don’t need to be an immigrant to experience hardships and to have desire/motivation for more. Although. Had Rodriguez been born into third generation Latinos his life might have been different on a more stable and paved journey through life. It’s difficult for educated immigrants to watch life in America pass them by; instead, they leap at every available opportunity within their sight.
I want so much more for my children then just second rate state colleges and overrated Disney World. Gasp, did I just say that out loud? It’s so true though. It’s part of this desire for not settling for average when you can strive to be above average given the opportunities. I did not cross an ocean for my children to be glued to the TV or get an up-do at the Bippity Bop Boutique. I want my children to be more, do more, experience more, and live more. There are a lot of things I do differently from perhaps you or her, as a mother, that aren’t necessarily for the better or worst. It’s just what I know and believe.
The same desire that spread like wildfire in my mom’s blood is beginning to ignite in mine.
Editor’s pick from Jennifer at Playgroups are no Place for Children. Pauline Karwowski, otherwise known as OHmommy, is one of my all time most respected and revered parenting bloggers. Her posts on Classy Chaos are beautifully crafted, speaking to my heart as a mother. Originally from Poland, Pauline has written many times about her life as an immigrant, including this post describing her personal perspective on motherhood. I hope you’ll get to know Pauline better, you can subscribe to her blog and follow her on Twitter.
Editor
Jen Playgroupie
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December 8th, 2009
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Category:
Author - Pauline Karwowski, Channel- Race and Ethnicity, Editor- Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children, Family, Featured 1, Mothers, Moms, Motherhood, Parenting, Relationships, Thursday 2
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I aspire to this “turn off the TV, shut down the screen” motherhood. Whenever I think of the sacrifices people make to get to our country–my own ancestors or recent immigrants–I am humbled.
Thanks Pauline.
I so agree with this.
Off to follow all the links..
thank you.
Love it just as much as the first time I read it, Pauline. xo