I’ve horrified myself
{Originally posted on Catnip and Coffee.}
If you’ve read much of this blog, or if you know me irl, you are well aware that cleaning is my least favorite thing to do on the planet. Seriously. When I told DH I was going to be working on the Homemaking Channel for Blog Nosh Magazine he actually laughed and said “well, maybe you’ll learn something.” (Don’t condemn him, it’s no worse than I thought myself AND he helps around here way more than most husbands!)
Anyway, DH took the boy to t-ball awhile ago and I decided to stay home and try to accomplish something. Something immensely productive. I needed to clean the family room. This is the room where the boy and I spend most of our time during the day. Many of his toys and craft items are here, and my work stuff is all here. This fact will be important later - I work sitting in the middle of the couch with all my shit stuff spread out around me. (Mostly because my desk is too cluttered to actually work at. Sigh.) You might already know, but I am a freelance photo editor. That means I always have manuscripts, layouts, pens, highlighters, a water bottle, a coffee mug (well balanced of course), paper clips, date planner, etc. next to me at all times. Yeah, on the couch. It drives DH crazy because he can never come sit next to me. I digress.
I needed to clean because I have overnight company coming it was dirty. As I’m vacuuming it occurred to me that someone might need to sleep on the couch later this week, and god forbid someone might pull the cushions off of it. So I bit the bullet and decided to clean under the cushions. Oh. My. God.
Needless to say I am sitting on a very clean couch as I type this.
Confession time. Here is the horror list of what I found, not including Hershey Kisses wrappers just regular trash.
- Popsicle sticks. At least 20 of them. Now one or two and it wouldn’t haven’t even made the list. But 20?
- Pens, highlighters, markers. A good thirty or so total. This is the part where you say, “You dumb shit, you work sitting on your couch. What did you expect?”
- Crochet hooks. Three of them! This is why I stopped crocheting last winter, I couldn’t find any hooks.
- A pot holder. Yeah, really, a Christmas themed pot holder.
- White-Out. A whole bottle, luckily closed up tight.
- A cordless phone. (!) Apparently the back of the couch has this really deep area that I’ve never seen before. I’ve been looking for this phone for, well, let’s just say a long time. I’m trying to charge it up now, to see if it still works.
- Paperclips and binder clips. Too numerous to count. I was going to buy some more this weekend. Now I don’t have to!
- Post-its. Cute little pink ones.
- Rubber bands. The office kind and the hair kind. Those are never going in my hair again. At least I can wash the barrette, and little tiny hair clips I use when I when my hair falls in my face that I also found.
- Legos. Legos, Legos, and more Legos. And various other toys. Like a fake cockroach. I really hope it was fake. (Kidding! We don’t have cockroaches in NH, we have ants. Lots and lots of ants.)
- My library card. That’s a good thing, I have overdue books.
I’m pretty sure I deserve a second cup of coffee for all of that. Or a nap. Or a cleaning lady.
Editor’s Pick by Catnip at Catnip and Coffee. It feels strange to put one of my own posts up here, but I thought after all of these Editor’s Picks that I’ve made, you might like to know a little more about me and this post pretty much says it all. Now if you’ll forgive me, I’m supposed to pimp my feed and my tweets! And by the way, my company that weekend did in fact pull the cushions off the couch!
Editor
catnip
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January 8th, 2009
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Category:
Author- Catnip, Channel- Homemaking, Editor- Catnip, Featured 2, Homemaking, Organization, Decluttering, Thursday 2, humor
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what kind of company do you keep that they feel the need to pull the cushions off the couches? when I have company, there’s a strict (albeit unsaid) rule that noone questions the apparent cleanliness of the place and noone looks too deep. Or they can hit the road. Because I’m pretty sure if they realized how “barely scratching the surface” my cleaning is, they would run away screaming. Or glare at me, if we are in Switzerland.
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[...] there* and I thought it was time the Blog Nosh readers got to know a little bit about me! So go see which post I chose from my archives that I think is my true self! Heh. It’s okay to laugh. Really. I do [...]
oh my gosh you made me laugh so loudly!!! Why?Because of what I have found in the deep recesses of my favorite big snugly reading chair! Not a phone though! I burst out laughing at that. I do want to share my favorite thing I ever found there… one of my bras! I guess i wanted it off and needed to hide it for some reason! It still fit so it wasn’t THAT old..but Lord knows how old it might have been! I’ve had the chair for nine years…that’s all I can say. LOVE your blog.
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That type of litany is precisely what is in my couch too — different items, same quantity and range. It horrifies me every time I clean. Which obviously isn’t often enough, since I am always horrified! I love this post. It makes me feel more normal (and I mean that in the nicest possible way). Thank you.
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