Sarah Palin and Motherhood
{Originally Published on The Dr. Laura Blog}
I am extremely disappointed in the choice of Sarah Palin as the Vice Presidential candidate of the Republican Party. I will still vote for Senator McCain, because I am very concerned about having a fundamental leftist, especially one who is a marvelous orator, as President.
At first, I thought it amusing that McCain picked a pretty, smart, and tough female to counter the racist/sexist accusations going back and forth between parties. I remember how Oprah Winfrey got caught in the cross-fire as she stepped up to the political table to support Obama with pride that a black man could rise to such heights in the USA, only to get slammed by feminists who told her it was gender, not race, that she should back. Understandably, Ms. Winfrey pulled back from it all.
Forget gender and race. I’m frankly and sadly caught in the dilemma of having to balance policy versus example in touting a candidate for the office of the First Family. I was ferociously attacked (what’s new?) when I spoke out strongly against Bill Clinton’s dalliances in the Oval Office. That situation quickly turned into a debate whether “private has anything to do with public.” Nonsense.
Role models are very important. Children and young adults look to those who are visible and successful as a road map of what is acceptable behavior and emulate those actions over the morals and values their parents and churches have taught and tried to reinforce. It’s a tough go these days, when the “bad that men or women do” is used for entertainment purposes without judgment, or is excused because of political or financial considerations.
I’m stunned - couldn’t the Republican Party find one competent female with adult children to run for Vice President with McCain? I realize his advisors probably didn’t want a “mature” woman, as the Democrats keep harping on his age. But really, what kind of role model is a woman whose fifth child was recently born with a serious issue, Down Syndrome, and then goes back to the job of Governor within days of the birth?
I am haunted by the family pictures of the Palins during political photo-ops, showing the eldest daughter, now pregnant with her own child, cuddling the family’s newborn. When Mom and Dad both work full-time (no matter how many folks get involved with the children), it becomes a somewhat chaotic situation. Certainly, if a child becomes ill and is rushed to the hospital, and you’re on the hotline with both Israel and Iran as nuclear tempers are flaring, where’s your attention going to be? Where should your attention be? Well, once you put your hand on the Bible and make that oath, your attention has to be with the government of the United States of America.
I am positively moved that neither Sarah nor her daughter were willing to terminate the lives of their unborn children. This is in sharp contrast to Obama’s statement that “When it comes specifically to HIV/AIDS, the most important prevention is education, which should include…which should include abstinence education and teaching children…teaching children, you know, that sex is not something casual. But it should also include - it should also include other, you know, information about contraception, because, look, I’ve got two daughters, 9 years old and 6 years old. I am going to teach them first of all about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don’t want them punished with a baby.” (March, 2008)
So, one Vice Presidential candidate and her daughter demonstrate, under conditions of great stress, that babies are valued human beings, not punishment. However, that same VP candidate came forth in April of 2008 with a proclamation for “Family Child Care Week,” in which she wrote: “These professionals are positive role models for the children they care for and the communities they serve.” ; Clearly, Palin sees the need for positive role models. I suggest that they be Mommy and Daddy, and not the hired help.
Child-care facilities are a necessity when mothers and fathers (when they exist at all) are unwilling or incapable of caring for their offspring. Unfortunately, they have become a mainstay of the feminista mentality that nothing should stand in the way of a woman’s ambition - nothing, including her family.
Any full-time working wife and mother knows that the family takes the short end of the stick. Marriages and the welfare of children suffer when a stressed-out mother doesn’t have time to be a woman, a wife, and a hands-on Mommy.
Editor’s pick by Liz of Three Bright Stars: Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a syndicated radio show host and best-selling author of The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. She has many fans, many detractors, and is often represented in media as a caricature. I thought many Blog Noshers may not have stumbled across her blog yet, and was thrilled to have the opportunity to share some of her writing with you. “Sarah Palin and Motherhood” is interesting because Dr. Laura uses a principled argument to decry McCain’s choice of Sarah Palin for Vice President, addressing the contradictory and provocative use of family values for political gain. If you only know about Dr. Laura’s views by what you hear from friends or from the news, why not try her blog on for size? If you like it, subscribe.
Editor
Liz BrightStars
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September 24th, 2008
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Category:
Author- Dr. Laura, Channel- Politics, Childcare, Conservativism, Current Affairs, Editor- Liz ThreeBrightStars, Family, Featured 1, Feminism, Homemaking, Mothers, Moms, Motherhood, Parenting, Politics, SAHM, Stay-at-Home Moms, Wednesday 1, Work, Career, Working Mothers, community, conflict, special needs
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I applaud you for wading into this contentious and difficult topic. And while I disagree with some of what you argue about Palin’s situation in particular, I would be willing to have a measured conversation about our differing politics. Furthermore, I think you imply a really compelling argument about what it means for a campaign that prides itself on a “family values” platform to select a woman for the VP nominee who must juggle the difficult balance of family, politics, and work.
I must say, however, that the politics of this particular choice aside I deeply resent the sweeping claim that “Any full-time working wife and mother knows that the family takes the short end of the stick. Marriages and the welfare of children suffer when a stressed-out mother doesn’t have time to be a woman, a wife, and a hands-on Mommy.” This to me suggests first of all that it is ONLY my job, rather than equally my husband’s job, to be an individual, a partner in a marriage, and hands-on parent. Furthermore, the notion that it is an obvious and incontrovertible fact that my mothering is fundamentally lacking because I work full time is offensive to all all women everywhere. Certainly there are families where mothers may have the choice about whether or not to work or stay home. In those families, her choice represents a kind of luxury of opportunity. But it also represents a tremendous luxury of resources that are simply not available to many many families in this country. To suggest that women who have no choice but to work are fundamentally flawed in the mothering they can provide is insulting and an over-simplification of a situation that is complex and deeply personal. Just because I work does not mean that I place my family second in my priorities: it is because I place them first that I do work, because I can better meet their needs if I am gainfully employed than if I am not.
I am not suggesting that I would throw out all of your arguments on the basis of this one; however, I would suggest that in the interests of acknowledging the complexities that surround what it means to be a mother in the twenty-first century, some appreciation for the admirable job of mothering that so many women do even while working outside the home is far preferable to dismissing as sub-competent the millions of us in this situation.
MommyTime said: “I applaud you for wading into this contentious and difficult topic.” Dr. Laura wades into contentious and difficult topics all the time - and she’s rarely applauded for it! I think her tenacity and resilience are what make her voice, and her message, so difficult for people. She;s not a quitter, and you probably won’t agree with everything she says, but she is often right! Even if you disagree, I find that seriously considering Dr. Laura, and others with principled arguments differing from your own, from their own words, usually helps you to refine your own worldview.
Sweet, we are quoting each other.
Liz said: “Even if you disagree, I find that seriously considering Dr. Laura, and others with principled arguments differing from your own, from their own words, usually helps you to refine your own worldview.”
And that, delicious Blog Noshers, is precisely what we are doing here at our tasty magazine. Liz, I applaud you for choosing such a contentious voice to share.
Agree or disagree, let’s all start pushing the boundaries and breaking through our comfort levels. As such, I am truly going to start encouraging the editors to republish posts that even they don’t agree with, but that they do think should be heard and answered.
Well done. Nosh on.
re: “Family Child Care Week,” in which she wrote: “These professionals are positive role models for the children they care for and the communities they serve.”
You must be wholly misinformed about family-based child care to cast these opinions. First of all, Family Child Care is almost exclusively performed in homes where mothers are attempting to stay at home with their own children by bringing in income by caring for a few other children. It is demanding, poorly paid work that introduces state licensing into your home. These professionals are not the “career hungry feministas” you fear. They are mothers who strongly want to spend the day with their children but must bring in income, so are willing to work LONG days with this creative, entreprenurial solution. It is bizarre that you would run them down, regardless of what you think of the parents who use their services.
Overwhelmingly, the families who chose family home care instead of private pre-schools are the working poor or immigrants who attempt to create an extended family network through these providers. Low adult-to-child ratios in family home care also makes it a common choice for the caseworkers of children who are required to be in care because of the risk of abuse and neglect in their parents’ home. Most states require low income parents to secure childcare in order to receive training or to work if they try to seek government support for food, or for medical care that is not offered at low income jobs, or if their level of poverty is defined as neglect by the government. Having one parent stay home during a child’s early years may be ideal for a resourced, skilled, not divorced or widowed parent, but that is not the economic reality of many American families. One of the biggest needs for child care in our country is on military bases, because even our military wages have been outpaced by the economy. This does not make these two-income or single-parent homes “incapable.”
It’s feeble that you only invoke the vision of a “feminista mentality” of parents who see their children as a burden to upward mobility when those parents are a tiny slice of the child care/workforce pie?
Deb on the Rockss last blog post..My Beautiful and Damned Boyfriend’s Birthday
I worry that Dr. Laura exemplifies a contingent of folks from both sides of the spectrum who work to entertain and endeavor to enrage rather than encourage civilized discourse, and our political process is worse because of it. On the topic of this post she dives in again to the stale rhetoric of the mommy wars. Most parents I know work hard at making their children’s lives better every day.
As always, I do love the discussion here, but I must admit I hope our political debating also includes the voices of lesser-known bloggers. Surely the blogosphere caters to some pretty fabulous “armchair” political pundits living at least a little bit outside the mainstream.
Leos last blog post..Mommy Tracks: Part Deux
Leo, “stale rhetoric”? Come on. I chose this article by Dr. Laura precisely because it takes an contentious position - one that made me, and others I spoke with, uncomfortable.
BlogNosh is committed to giving voice to lesser-known bloggers, whether or not they originate from famous personalities. I’m not going to dismiss them out of hand, anyway. Instead of complaining about what is here, why don’t you contribute a post of your own? I’ll happily consider it for the politics channel.
My own post relevant to this topic is: http://liz.rockonchicago.com/?p=267
Lizs last blog post..Decrease page-load time to improve CommentLuv performance
[...] perfect jump into the deep end for this approach was a political post from Dr. Laura on Sarah Palin and motherhood. Dr. Laura is definitely a “love her or hate her” personality, and one [...]
Does the family have to take the short end of the stick when a mother works? And is the only alternative that the mother take the short end of the stick instead? I agree that a family headed up by two full-time workers *could* lose out on family togetherness, *could* be more stressed than an “ideal” family should be. However, does that mean that the best type of family is one in which a woman sacrifices all for the needs of everyone else?
What about stay at home fathers? What about two parents working part time and splitting the domestic work and the childcare? What about reaching out to extended family for support? I grew up with the support of extended family while my mother and father worked full time, and I promise you that it was exactly what my family needed and wanted.
What about *trying* to balance things instead of giving up before even trying and dropping all of the family responsibilities on the woman?
I tried to click your link, Liz, but couldn’t get to anything. I’d really like to read your post.
We never discuss whether a man’s family is at the appropriate age and stage for his bid for office. Maybe we should, but that’s not where Laura goes with this. Instead, she buzzes around politics and family for a bit, before stinging the working mom’s last rattled nerve in the final two paragraphs with a same-old attack on feminism and working women. So, yeah, to me - it rings a bit stale.
If you’re interested, I’ve vented about this media tendency, among other things, in many posts: http://www.mommytracksblog.com/category/the-fretting-feminist/
Leos last blog post..Mommy Tracks: Part Deux
Ooh, also - I meant to note that I was most definitely not complaining, just observing out loud.
Leos last blog post..Mommy Tracks: Part Deux
Leo, I think everything in the comments section comes across more severely than it was intended. Read mine with that in mind too! Confounded hormones. What I meant was: I’m actively seeking to promote YOUR voice too.
Sorry about my dead link: I refreshed my site and switched databases, so the link numbers have changed. Here is the current one:
http://liz.rockonchicago.com/?p=323